My friend Edith and I haven’t really talked much lately, ever since I decided to take my clothes off on TV and she decided she could neither understand nor support this decision. After 6 years of sharing everything, we both weren’t able to share our true feelings about this situation that really threatened our friendship and just went separate ways for a couple of months, some rare text messages being our only communication. This left me feeling left alone and her feeling like I wasn’t the person she had known and loved anymore. Me feeling like she didn’t support me when I needed her support the most and her feeling disappointed because from her perspective I was throwing away everything I had worked for by participating in a „trashy“ TV-Show. Me feeling like I did nothing wrong and her feeling like she did everything right, because all I did was making a choice that I can live with and all she did was wanting to protect me. Me feeling like her expectations on my life were way too high and her thinking my potential was so high I could do anything with my life, why do I have to do this?
It left me thinking I had lost her and her thinking she had lost me.
How do I know that we felt all of this when I just said we weren’t able to share our feelings at all?
Well, because luckily Edith is a journalist (a damn good one) and she had the idea to sit down and actually TALK about this (a damn good idea) and publish it, because, man, don’t we all have differences in our friendships, don’t we all feel like we can’t be truely honest with each other because it would hurt our friend too much, when really what hurts the most is to NOT be honest?!
So that’s what we did and it turned out to be the most real and most honest and most brutal and most heartfelt interview I ever gave, probably the most important one, too, I think it saved our friendship, it saved us, because we really put everything on the table. And yes, when I asked her if she felt ashamed for me and she said yes, wow, that hurt, but, wow, did it feel good at the same time to have spoken it out loud, to get to the bottom line and the core of it all and to admit to each other and also to yourself that these are your true feelings, acknowledge them, give them room to be there and then eventually let them vanish into nirvana – that’s what happened when we gave each other a big hug and let it all go.
We let it all go and everything that was left, or should I rather say returned, was the love and friendship and both of us realizing what the importance is: to have different opinions but to get over it!! In the end it just showed how much we care for each other, that we care so much that, yes, we do mind what the other person does with her life and yes, we do get emotionally involved and, yes, do get angry and disappointed, but also trust each other enough to find a way back to what really matters. And, yes, this way back will always lead through brutal honesty.
You can read the article here and I hope you read it with an open heart.
Go and tell your friends you love them today, OK?! Namaste.
Photo credit: Theresa Hauff